Making Lemonade
There is no other way to put it. This week was hard, scary, exhausting and every other synonym to those words you can think of. I normally handle a crisis well and am present and just go with it and then afterwards fall apart as it all catches up. That was no exception this time. I made friends with the nurses and staff at the hospital and we all talked Paleo and autoimmune issues. It was great to hear from the medical staff that all of them were eating Paleo, how cool is that? They were telling me how much better they felt with more energy, less mystery symptoms, etc. They also echoed the same thing: Western medicine does not know how put their arms around chronic illness and autoimmunity. That was shocking for me to hear. Now, I didn’t hear this from the doctors but from nurses and techs. That has been my experience as well as so many of yours, but hearing it from the inside was not something that I expected.
At least my husband is enjoying himself!
Rally
As severely brutal as this week was, it was eclipsed by my family and friends that were enormously instrumental with their support, prayers and love. I had strangers praying for me. I had churches praying for me. Many of you reached out with your kindness, prayers and well wishes, thank you. All of it was a comfort. I had to miss a speaking engagement and my best friends bridal shower and both of those stung. That pain was eased by the people in my life who are extremely understanding about my illnesses and show me lot of grace and kindness when I can’t “do”. For those of you reading this that don’t have that same experience, trust me, I can relate. I’ve been on this chronic illness road for 13 years. I’ve lost of lot of relationships, taken a lot of flack, and in seasons been totally isolated. I’m grateful beyond measure for the support and love that I experience now and don’t take an ounce of it for granted.
So, What Now?
That is a question that kept coming to mind. What now? Does everything I’ve been through this week shine a light on a core common denominator or muddle things up further? Does it illuminate why my body is the way it is? Does it leave doctors more puzzled? Being in the hospital with how I would describe severe symptoms to be, I thought surely there would be some sort of answer that has to be blaring, right? No. I was left to take me and my severe symptoms home with a pat on the back and a good luck kid…just as I always have. I was left feeling like it was up to me to figure this thing out. To determine my way to healing, just like always.
Something Different
Except, there is something different this time. I have Dr. Keller. I have no idea what is to come or if this jig saw puzzle makes any sense, but she is in my corner. I feel that. I know that. I’ve experienced that. She will help. There may not be a quick fix, but I believe she will help as much as she can. I continue to own my own healing and seek direction on next steps, but I am grateful that there is someone in the medical profession that is on this road with me. Time will tell how everything evolves…
