The entrance to our cottage

Gone are the days I just packed in an hour and headed off for an unknown city. Long ago I used to travel nationally for my job and the travel normally entailed multiple cities Sunday-Friday. I was a pro though. It was an old hat. I would Mapquest my directions (God, I could’ve really used GPS in those days!), pack my clothes and toiletries and I was off. No thought of food or where to eat, no thought of what will I do if my body doesn’t cooperate on my travels, just plain pack up and go!

A photo my husband took of the bay on our first morning away.

It’s a severe contrast to what goes into any trip these days. My family and I haven’t been on a vacation in over 5 years. My husband has been working 7 days a week for over a year, plus volunteering heavily, I work part-time, blog, parent, my daughter has school, homework and extra curricular activities and we just needed a gosh darn break from it.

Journaling in the backyard

In May, we had set some really audacious goals for us as a family. Our reward if we hit that goal was to take a little family vacation. We were motivated, we had a plan and we prayed that we would hit that goal. Lo and behold…we did! We were in this together and did it! With excitement and anticipation I booked a cute little cottage in central California where we would spend a few nights and explore, rest and basically do whatever the heck we wanted. We were so grateful to book this trip…I think we all cried tears of gratitude!

The hubs and daughter at the bay while mom eased into the day!

The Lead Up

I started prepping about 2 months prior to leaving. BIG CONTRAST from the days of old! I ordered my Paleo On The Go because ain’t no one got time for cooking from scratch on vacation thank you very much. I ordered snacks from One Stop Paleo Shop, we changed the oil in the car and had the tires rotated, I rearranged my work schedule to take time off, my husband turned down business to take time off and I made lots of intentions and hopes about our trip.

Inside of Montana de Oro State Park

What Actually Went Down

With multiple autoimmune diseases and hosts of other health issues, traveling can be a source of anxiety. There is always that thought of ‘What if the unthinkable happens with my health and we can’t go?’.

And guess what? The unthinkable did happen. About a week prior to us leaving I came down with shingles! Like, really? Am I 80?! 😉 Not only that, I tested positive for the flu virus, had issues with candida and heavy metals popping up and had major issues with being able to sleep. We were suppose to leave for vacation on Monday and the previous Thursday (when I felt like death) I decided to cancel our reservation. We had booked through VRBO and the owner said he would try and rebook our stay and would try to really work with us as best as he could but that we may be out the entire money we had spent on the rental. Ugh! I couldn’t believe this was happening. Our first vacation in years, all the planning, all the excitement….gone.

Even with overcast skies this girl could stay at the beach all day every day!

The Stages Of Grief

I went through all of the stages of grief! I was so angry, I was sad, I went into denial thinking maybe I could do the trip in the horrific state I was in, I felt guilt about letting my family down. Even though I know it is not me letting them down and my body being my body, I felt responsible. However, my family was great. They of course were disappointed but they were so supportive and kind about it all…like super good….life amazing good. Having their support really helped me surrender this and maintain a sense of peace after the stages of grief ran their course.

Lounge chair family selfie!

Then, The Unthinkable Happened Again…

I started feeling better. I was in pain but it was bearable and my fatigue was getting so much better and all of the other systemic things that come with the shingles were fading away. I had a glimmer of hope. The cottage was rebooked for only one night, which meant we would have 3 nights away and that sounded great. After hemming and hawing, my husband and I decided Monday afternoon that we would go the next day and we rebooked the trip. We got into high gear (as high a gear as one can go in my condition anyway), packed, prepped and had a glimmer of hope and excitement in our stride.

Gorgeous Montana de Oro State Park!

Then, The Unthinkable Happened Again…

Monday night before our trip, I slept only 2 hours. My body had become sensitive to the medication and supplements I was on and rebelled by keeping me up almost all night. I was in a sad state in the morning. All hope was dashed. Not only that, my daughter woke up with an upset stomach, stuffy nose, headache and sore throat! We were doomed! It seemed as though the nail was in the coffin of this vacation once and for all. This time it felt even more devastating. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, maybe it was all the hopes dashed, but I bawled and bawled on my husbands shoulder for several minutes. The kind where you just can’t stop. Where the tears keep coming and coming. I felt defeated in so many ways.

Visiting the Bubble Gum Alley in San Luis Obispo

Then, The Miraculous Happened

By the end of the day my daughter was bouncing off the walls. We can normally get her feeling better in less than 24 hours with all of our various health tools in our tool chest, but I was a hot mess. In an effort to salvage the money we spent on the cottage, my husband was going to go up solo and work on an ebook he is hoping to release soon for his business. Tuesday morning came and I had slept about 8 hours but I wasn’t feeling great. We sent our daughter to school since she was all better. My husband loaded up the car and was ready to head out. At the last minute he decided to pull our daughter out of school since they had wanted to do a father-daughter trip over summer, but summer had proved far too hectic for it and now looked as good a time as any. Without telling both of them, I decided to pack and see how I felt. To my utter surprise I was doing okay. I finished packing and still felt like I wasn’t going to die which was a major win! Then, just before they left I said, “I think I can go.” With looks of extreme disbelief and excitement in their eyes, they rejoiced. We loaded up and headed for our destination about 5 hours away on the central coast of California.

The morning that we left the beautiful central coast and cottage behind

How It Turned Out

The trip turned out to be so incredibly good. I felt pretty darn good the entire time. We explored, played, rested, danced, sang, read and simply enjoyed being there with one another. We made so many precious memories that I can’t even stand it. We are all still pretty much on a high. We fully enjoyed our time and each other. I’m going to let the pictures in the post do the talking!

Morro Bay adventures before the trek home

Lessons Learned

1. Life with multiple chronic illnesses is messy. It’s up, down and all around. It is unpredictable. It can be chaotic. This is not a new lesson, but somehow all of this crazy took me by surprise.
2. Intentionality could be my middle name. My husband and friends give me kudos regarding the intentional life we live and I fight for those intentions to become realities. For this vacation those intentions needed to GO! I had intended to bring candles and games and have reading time in the morning as a family. I planned restaurants we could eat at and activities that we could do. Guess what?! I had to let those intentions go and just go! I can be such a planner and invest time and energy into planning and intentions, but this trip just made me realize that going was good enough and when it comes to travel, just getting there is a victory!
3. How gosh darn grateful I am for my family. The support and love they gave me through this whole thing is still mind boggling. They also showered me with constant love and praise on our vacation. I can tell you, it has not always been this way. It has been a journey of love and grace together that has got us here and we had to go through some massive ugly to get here, but I’m glad they are my peeps.
4. It also taught me to just book our vacation the day of next time! I may use my tactic from the old days – pack up and go! Having an idea of when we could go and planning out food is my top priority but there are VRBO’s all over the place with availability and eager to cash in on last minute bookings (normally at a discounted rate – haggle people!). This can eliminate the lead up stress and anxiety. I know that is not possible for everyone, but currently with the way our lives our structured we can make that work.

To stay up-to-date on how life is unfolding with multiple illnesses and more, join our sleuthy community!

Thanks for sharing in my big ole vacation drama! Chronic illness ain’t for the faint of heart! How does traveling with illness work for you? 

(Note: Some links in this post are affiliate links. Read our disclosure policy here).